The Ancient, Forgotten Secret to Family Community ~ BitterSweetLife

Sunday, April 27, 2008

The Ancient, Forgotten Secret to Family Community

We've discovered the secret of talisman of family unity, which had lain hidden for centuries until a friend gave Lindsay a cryptic, scribbled message on an index card and she realized its true worth. Are you braced for a shocking disclosure which could alter the course of your whole family life? You are? OK then.


I'm serious.

Buy the fresh avocados, tomatoes, and limes, and mix them together with the help of spicy spices and a blunt object, using a recipe that has been personally written down for you by a person of Mexican descent. As the process unfolds, open a large bag of salty tortilla chips--and then watch as your family crowds into the kitchen, jocular, interested, and ready to help make sandwiches and chat about their inner secrets in a bubbly, enthusiastic way. In other words, make that guacamole and watch as life happens around the bowl.

Go do it now. You can thank me later, and if this tip restores your sense of communal family living, we can discuss various forms of recompense.

Full disclosure: The guacamole pictured above isn't ours, although it shares the same smooth green suaveness and air of confidence. But to show you our guacamole, which is mostly gone anyway, would have required the whole digital photo upload rigmarole. I would have had to ask Aidan to juggle the guacamole or have Lindsay do some kind of exotic guacamole dance to justify that kind of effort.

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must_decrease said...

You white people have merely stumbled upon what us Mexican's have known for years, namely the inherent spiritual powers of the guac!

Use this new power wisely

gymbrall said...

At this point you have no choice but to post this recipe and add to the already substantial eclectic nature of this blog. Failure to do so will mean immediate loss of cool points and random attacks by ninjas (or pirates - I have very little influence over who they send to kill you)

Grown Up said...

Having just enjoyed a similar experience with our small group last night over a bowl of the green stuff made from 'guacacados' as we've come to call them, I feel compelled to share the best guacamole song ever:

You and your children will love it!

Ariel said...

Use this new power wisely

I'm thinking, only in the service of goodness and truth. No vampire guac parties.

At this point you have no choice but to post this recipe and add to the already substantial eclectic nature of this blog.

I have bad news for you, my friend. The ancient recipe was already a relic when it fell into Lindsay's hands. Scrawled in berry juice on an index card made of tanned bat skin, and over a century old, it was not long for this world. Not after Aidan used it to wipe his nose. Now Lindsay makes the guacamole from some borrowed sense of historical memory.

Your best bet is to find a Mexican and importune for a recipe. As for me, I've prepared elaborate traps for your assassins.

You and your children will love it!

Thanks for the guacamole song, it's a classic. Beats Elmo hands down. Also, thanks for the corroborating evidence.


Culture. Photos. Life's nagging questions. - BitterSweetLife