A Satirical List for Diagnostic Purposes
- For one thing, I can’t wait for Christ to return. My annual income sucks!
- I am not inordinately interested in things of small value. I don’t confuse promotions, college sports, new trends in hiking gear, with life’s mere frivolities.
- I’m not soft on my sin, which is to say, I don't neglect it. I'm concerned for its health and appearance, and the way it dresses.
- I don’t feel any distance from God; I know he’s nearby, as evidenced by these candles and attractive Christian plaques.
- My spiritual life is not driven by a sense of duty or obligation. Well, except for reading the Bible, prayer, and church. But other than these exceptions, nada.
- I’m definitely not chronically bored and restless. I’ve found that snack food and computer games have helped me to escape boredom (praise God).
- It’s a great comfort to me that God hears everything I say and in fact knows what I'll say before I say it. This is a big time-saver.
- The final, conclusive proof of my godliness: Not that I’ll step on your toes or make you feel uncomfortable—but sorry, I am going to say “godblessyou” when you sneeze. Yeah, I’m not backing down from the gospel.
6 comments:
Great stuff! I love this!
Awesome post! I definitely agree with numero uno.
Thanks, guys.
Because I didn't preface this post with an explanation or provide a quickie definition of "satire," I realized it may be sailing past some people:
Wow, I didn't realize he felt this way. How awful. At least he's being honest...
My goal was to skewer some spirituality pitfalls that we can tend towards, indulging in caricature and exageration to make my point. But no doubt you realized this. :)
If I had written the list (which is brilliant, by the way)about myself , I would have change number five:
5. My spiritual life is not driven by a sense of duty or obligation. I am unconcerned with reading the Bible, prayer, and church.
"5. My spiritual life is not driven by a sense of duty or obligation. I am unconcerned with reading the Bible, prayer, and church."
Ha. I dare say you've improved on my version. More succint, more telling. (Although applying the adjective "improve" to this list is something of a chancy proposition. ;)
Enjoyable post and a very funny read. You've inherited your father's dry wit.
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