Scene: New Year's Day, Before Falling Asleep
Lindsay: "This morning when we got up, I was playing with Aidan, and you secreted away and disappeared. [Editor's note: "Secreted away?" Nice. Is that shorthand for "retreated to the bed and took a nap without snoring?"] Then you slept for most of the morning while I stayed awake."
Me: "But I took Asher with me, and coaxed him to sleep too. That's half the child-raising burden."
Lindsay: "No, it's not."
Me: "_____"
Lindsay: "Asher is not half the burden. He's...one eighth."
Me: "_____"
Lindsay: "Aidan is seven eighths."
Me: "You're just saying that because you wish you'd taken a nap too."
*If they are married with young children.
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