BitterSweetLife

Recently I’ve been struck by the awfulness of light.

What I mean is, light is a discloser of secrets, an illuminator of dingy corners, a revealer of the deep, dark and hidden. Too much light, and the best among us stiffen, shake our heads warily, and intone with plastic smiles, “OK now, enough’s enough.”

Light appears in a variety of forms. For those of us living at home, there’s good old mom and dad. Their wattage registers, perhaps, at headlight level. At work there are coworkers and bosses—their level of insight generally doesn’t surpass flashlight power, but it’s still enough to shock. Then, more appalling, there’s the high-beam luminosity of intimate friendship, and, ultimately, marriage. How are we to deal with the levels of self-disclosure—and humbling self-awareness—such relationships require? I’d suggest that for many of us, the answer is simple. We don’t. How else to explain the culture of “serial monogamy,” “serial relationships,” even “serial friendships”—that characterizes us as people?

In “light” of all this, how ought we to consider really stunning brilliance—as in Paul’s fiery encounter on the Damascus road—radiance strong enough to reveal the heart’s raw secrets and burn us with its heat? Such a sun-like inferno would have the ability to both give life and take it, catalyze dramatic change or leave a burned-out husk. The outcome would be dependent upon our reaction. But no one could label such a light-source as “irrelevant,” “trivial,” or “small.” Dangerous? Of course. Destructive? Perhaps. Defining? Surely.

Such a light-source would be potentially two things: a universal magnet or a cosmic stigma. How would we determine which? To see one’s heart under a flashbulb, exposed in shadowless clarity, naked at noon, might be a horrifying experience. Conversely, who can fully apprehend the benefits of authenticity—a divorce from sham-life, a return to “dearest freshness, deep down things…”—and bona fide personhood. Overwhelming light would leave one either ruined or new. Which outcome?

Only those who approached the sun could answer the question. Such a source of light is Christ.