Bad Coffee Tricks and Midterm Blues ~ BitterSweetLife

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Bad Coffee Tricks and Midterm Blues

Treacherous Dark Coffee

This morning I drank myself awake so I could start studying for one of the three midterms I blew off last week. My professors were kind enough to work with me, but I can’t say I’ve approached the exam prep with my usual excitement and joy.


I’ve read that if you feel tired, say you’re driving cross country or completing an overnight trucking route, there’s a clever way to trick your body into wakefulness. Studying for multiple exams seems a lot like driving down miles and miles of interstate, so I gave the scheme a shot.

It goes like this: Drink a cup of strong coffee, then lie down for a quick nap. Since the caffeine won’t reach your bloodstream for 15-20 minutes, you’ll sleep for about that long, and then serenely come around, wondering why you feel so good. When you become fully awake, you’ll also feel like a genius, having cunningly achieved both your objectives—rest and alertness. A smile will sweep across your face and you will jump to your feet, your mind tapping out a staccato rhythm, a friend to all mankind.

::

I sat in the plush room they reserve for overdue exam takers, feeling like about two bucks. A ‘60s-style chair was crammed behind a huge, bare, fake-wood desk, flanked by towering, empty bookshelves. The empty plastic trash can behind me was a nice touch.

I slung off my windbreaker, feeling feverish, and slumped in the chair. Usually I approach my exams with the kind of militant aggression that has carried me so far in my basketball career. This morning, all I could muster was a kind of resentful disdain. Why am I here? Why am I taking this stupid test? I wonder whether Aidan is asleep right now.

I turned to look out the window, see if the sun had come out, but there wasn’t a window.

Stupid test. Stupid test.

I grunted and started writing.

::

One test down, two to go.

That I kicked this exam in the teeth was inevitable, but I don’t feel the usual satisfaction. I need to go play basketball somewhere, take some more baby pictures, and then get to the backlog of posts I’ve had percolating for days, even before Aidan showed up to infuse them with added insight.

Or, as Lindsay says, maybe I should just go take a nap.



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4 comments:

Dustin said...

Did the ol' coffee trick work? I should try that when seeking to accomplish quite a bit of reading in a short period of time.

Alexys Fairfield said...

Try this technique; trust. You don't have to perform any coffee-induced mental acrobatics, no juggling of gray matter, no anxiety whatsoever. You already know what you know and what you don't know now, you'll soon know. (Now say that ten times fast). Just trust my friend. Let God move your hand with rigorous dexterity. Now slam dunk that bad boy! :)

Oneway the Herald said...

>>drank myself awake<<

Nice.

You definitely should ball. My teams played so horribly last night that coming to work today seems quite relaxing. On the last play of the night, my opponent drove left. I slid with him, but he pulled up for a leaner, elbowing me in the face. He called foul and hit the game-winner while busting my lip.

Thank God for perspective.

AJ said...

The coffee trick didn't work as planned, Dustin. Maybe I didn't get the dosage right. The idea seems sound, though. Even brilliant. I'll give it another try soon.

"You already know what you know and what you don't know now, you'll soon know."

This sounds a little like osmosis, Alexys, which is another favorite technique of mine. The results aren't always what you would hope, but it's a much more...restful...approach to test-taking. Actually, I'm not sure I get the drift of your idea. I do pray before I start studying and before I take exams. And then I go work my rear off.

Oneway, waves of empathy are shooting toward you across the blogosphere. The old shoot-the-elbow-and-call-the-foul move. Deplorable, although I'm seeing it a lot in the NCAAs this year. You'll posterize the guy next time.

I'm hoping to get out today for some hoops.

 

Culture. Photos. Life's nagging questions. - BitterSweetLife