BitterSweetLife

This morning after I changed Aidan’s diaper, he was wide awake, so I managed to elicit a few sound-bytes on various people. Here is his commentary, complete and uncensored.

Aidan talks about…

His grandparents: “They were all at the hospital, waiting to hold me when I came out of surgery, and I appreciate that. At the time I was mad, because the existential weight of life had hit me when I emerged out of the womb, and because having a surgery is never fun. Also, I was hungry. I wanted some milk.”

His mom and dad: “Dad talks trash to me all the time and mom is more relaxed. They’re both pretty cool. Sometimes I see the two of them press their lips together with a little ‘smack.’ They look happy. I wonder if they’re sharing milk.”

KU coach Bill Self: “No matter what the haters say, this guy is tops. I plan on suiting up for him in 2024, and I expect he’ll have a couple of NCAA titles by then. I’ve noticed that on the sidelines, his players drink their milk out of little green cups that say ‘Gatorade.’”

Newly-hired K-State coach Bob Huggins: “He’s no boy scout, but at least the Big 12 North will have better storylines next year. I’ve heard that he recruits shady players and is a heavy drinker. It must take a lot of money to keep a guy that size in milk.”

His dad’s legendary playground hoops career: “My dad put down some swank moves back in the day, and he can still talk a good game. He told me about how sometimes the guys would call him ‘White Chocolate.’ I just wonder, ‘Why not “Milk Chocolate?”’”

Ariel: “Hey Aidan, I sense that we’re getting a little side-tracked with the interview. Are you still with me?”

Aidan: “Of course, Dad.”

Ariel: “OK. Let’s make sure. Who’s your favorite dad?”

Aidan: “You. That’s a dumb question.”

Ariel: “Fine. What’s your favorite color?”

Aidan: “Milk.”

Ariel: “Right. And how many fingers am I holding up?”

Aidan: “Milk.”

Ariel: “All right folks, that concludes our interview for today.”