Sooner or Later, Kids Will Track You Down ~ BitterSweetLife

Monday, October 08, 2007

Sooner or Later, Kids Will Track You Down

Update: I reread my original post, and thought I should clarify a little... I wasn't trying to call out our married friends on their reluctance to obey God by having three kids yesterday, I was more pointing to the Touchstone piece as evidence that there's a real barrier in US culture to having kids, even among evangelicals. Where the writer says "not wanting children is a character defect," I was reading my younger self into the statement, the same way he does. However, since I succumbed, despite the fear that my hoops game would totally be put on the backburner, I extend similar hope for others...thus, Ha ha.


Lindsay and I know a handful of young married couples, among whom we are the first among equals. The first to have kids, that is. Despite my less-than-subtle attempts to provoke our friends into procreation so Aidan can have playmates, there have been no signs of success quite yet...I will persevere, though. It's just a matter of time. And I relate to the slightly panicky looks I get from the men when their wives' faces get wistful. Touchstone Magazine's blog puts it well:

I...suspect that not wanting [children] is a character defect, because it is a character defect I once suffered, and from which I was saved only by my wife and a belief that the Christian tradition knew better than I did, and by the creatures who arrived in due course... This can't be good for a society, when so many men think being a husband and a father is a kind of failure. Even a lot of conservative Christian men think this: even if they don't know it, they let it out in the way they talk.

To which I add, Ha ha. Your resistance is futile.

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John B. said...

Kids are a blessing, yes, but that doesn't make them any less intimidating for the bless-ees. And they are scary. Yours is not old enough to scare you. Yet. My older daughter, on the other hand, will turn 13 next month. I'm scared, believe you me, and she doesn't even live with me.

Anyway. Go easy on your Scared Young Married Friends.

must_decrease said...

Speaking in semi-ignorance of course, it is not the "scariness" that is keeping me away it is that we already have another child to take care of that goes by the name "debt". I figured we had better put her to bed first, before we invite others to our little family.

Also, while you may talk a big game here in the blogosphere, many of us have the distinct honor of seeing you day in and day out and your disposition and lack of sleep is not quickly winning converts or play friends for Aidan

Plus, in effect what you are saying is "misery loves company"
(tongue firmly planted in cheek)

On a side note, I do concede that my resistance is a futile effort and I reserve my right to future procreation

Ariel said...

John, I'll take your words to heart. I've heard what these teenagers can do to those innocently caught in the middle, i.e., their parents. Although Aidan was pretty scary when he woke up last night at 1am possessed by that demon. Wait, did I just write that?

many of us have the distinct honor of seeing you day in and day out and your disposition and lack of sleep is not quickly winning converts or play friends for Aidan

What? WHAT?! Oh, you must mean the way I guzzle coffee and snap at people without kids. Man, you need to lighten up a little. It's only a charade I put on to illustrate that having children could, potentially, be hard work. At least, that's what I hear. It's a challenge for some people...

gymbrall said...

I'll assume you were just poking fun at Ariel about his "big talk" and his disposition and lack of sleep. But I do think it's worth saying a few things about children.

The thing is, kids are a serious part of our obedience to God. They are a major part of our witness to the world. What amazes me about the prevailing attitude toward children is that even people who typically take the Bible quite literally can sit and read passages of Scripture where God is passionate in speaking to His children about bearing Godly seed, where He says "children are an heritage of the Lord and the fruit of the womb is his reward", where Jacob says to his barren wife when she complains to him of her lack of children "Am I in the place of God?". I mean, I don't want to put too much emphasis on children, because it's clear that if God does not give children, that a family made up of just a married man and a woman are good in His eyes, but think about this: it is not an exaggeration to say that the story of the Bible and of this world, is the story of a Father working through His Son, of Jehovah God, accomplishing all things through our Lord Jesus Christ.

I cannot begin to express the significance of that thought, the idea that Fathers and Sons bear witness to the relationship and the cooperation that God has established with Jesus Christ.

And please don't think that I'm just "talking big". The thought of more children terrifies me. I have two now, a boy and a girl, and there is a part of me that hopes desperately that we have no more, but that part is continually pushed down by the part of me that says, "I am just another son of God, seeking to be obedient in the same way that Jesus Christ was obedient, even unto death." If this means that I am tired, so be it. It is no more than my reasonable service.

anyway, sorry for the ramble, this just struck a chord.

Take care,

must_decrease said...

To all,

(with egg on my face) What I meant to be a friendly dig at Ariel turned into me looking like a spiteful hater of children, which I did not intend. My wife and I love children greatly and are waiting for our time to come to have some of our own.

Gybrall I agree that children not only are a blessing, but also a small picture of our relationship with God and I eagerly anticipate the blessings and challenges that will come with some of our own.

I apologize for the confusion. Sometimes things don't communicate as well on a written page as they do in person.


Ariel said...

(with egg on my face) What I meant to be a friendly dig at Ariel turned into me looking like a spiteful hater of children

Well man, what can I say? You just shouldn't have questioned my inerrancy on this blog. My supporters are like rottweilers--they will Take. You. Down.

It's no wonder you got egged! ;)


Culture. Photos. Life's nagging questions. - BitterSweetLife