As I was downing coffee like water, it occurred to me that earlier in my career I would have considered my current assignment as a kind of field day. Tomorrow I have three midterm exams, back to back, so today I’m propping myself up with caffeine while I absorb tomorrow's inky answers.
A few years ago, this sort of thing was a kind of sport to me. A fascinating sort of mental juggling, like playing back-to-back games of soccer, basketball and ping pong and expecting to win them all. I courted the challenge; rolled down the windows of my academic vehicle, stuck my head out and swerved around the hairpin curves, picking the occasional bug out of my teeth. Exhilarating, I found it.
And now? The appropriate aphorism, I think, is Times have changed. I no longer feel the urge to dissect my tests with clinical adrenalin and surprise my professor by stealthily replacing his own thoughts in his head, clothed in attire only subtly altered. These days, my reaction is:
- Mild irritation at the fact of Tests
- Heightened by the fact of Tests On The Same Day
- Capped by a grim resolve to crush the foe
As William Blake said about his midterms, “I will not cease from mental fight.” That’s me in a nutshell. This is no longer an exercise in skylarking; at the end of the day, it will be me or the damnable exams left standing. The 3-1 odds only increase my determination. In terms of examinations, I’m an aging Achilles. I sense a troubling vulnerability, but I’m not about to back down. And as I start back toward my books and notes, so no one had better get in my way.
5 comments:
School for me is nearly new, but I understand the sentiment.
Also, just let me know when Pertocles dies...I will steer clear of you then...
Mmm, exams, not a big fan of them myself but I only have 3 this semester. Thankfully they aren't all on the same day. I don't think I could handle anatomy and clinical medicine back to back. Someone else who burns candles while they study too.
oc, Pertocles bit the dust at the same moment my 4.0 did. In fact, I think my 4.0 was named Pertocles...
Candles are a key element in studying, Jess, since they give the aesthetic illusion that the whole activity is really enjoyable. Coffee and good music are also invaluable in this regard. Good luck with the medicine exams!
I love exam days (but only when there's just ONE per day--3 in one day is way too many!). Exams keep me motivated, and I get such a sense of satisfaction about getting them returned. If my grade is nice, that is. ;-)
Anwyay, best wishes on your exams, Ariel! :-)
Alas, I never knew Petrocles.
I heard he was a dear man.
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