BitterSweetLife

Featured prominently on the bottom left: The Globe Illustrated Shakespeare, food for my defiance.

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I’ve been thinking the last several weeks that the will to read is very much like the will to live—or the proverbial will to power. It’s deeply ingrained (in me, anyway) and scoffs at the idea of going gently into that dark night.

The opponents of willful reading have been putting up a good fight lately though. Foremost among these is my Summer Archaeology class, a fascinating but controlling presence that has been making power bids, attempting to wrest away control of my lit life. No dice.

I’ve been fighting back. As Thoreau put it, “I was not born to be forced. I will breathe after my own fashion. Let us see who is strongest.” Which raises the question: Who is?

Well obviously, I am, evidenced by the fact that I have defiantly read Cold Mountain, She and most of Saint Augustine’s Childhood (Gary Wills) and have now opened Norman Maclean’s novella, A River Runs Through It. (Other revolutionary acts will follow.)

Moreover, my will to read was intensified a couple days ago when Lindsay and I watched a film version (Kenneth Branagh, Lawrence Fishburne) of Shakespeare’s Othello. Even when converted to the screen, Shakespeare screams “Read me!” And I will. I definitely will—because I want to. Ha! Hey prof., How do you like them apples?*

But at what price, freedom?

Aye, there’s the rub;
For in that heap of books
What grades may come,
When I have shuffled off this mortal’s coil
Must give me pause...

Well, that will be as it may. I hold my GPA more loosely after enduring some academic abuse last semester. My policy used to be, “When it comes to academics, you make your own luck—so put up or shut up.” For five years I never had reason to doubt this credo. After last semester, however, my mantra has changed to a slightly jaded “Do what you can and what happens, happens.”

Profound, eh?

True, the whiteboards don’t shine with the same lustrous glow they once possessed, and now I occasionally notice my professors repeating themselves…

But at least I have a fortified Will To Read.


* Yeah, yeah. You devoted readers are worrying that I'm testing fate, about to self-destruct in my academic career. It's not happening. My defiance is measured, which is to say I intend to read what I want AND get an A. How 'bout that? But incidentally, should the A not materialize, it would be fully in keeping with my new academic credo... ;)