Dragging DeVine Through De Mud ~ BitterSweetLife

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Dragging DeVine Through De Mud

Dr. DeVine

Today in Theology my professor, Doctor DeVine, was agitated in the exaggerated, dramatic manner people assume when they actually are bothered by something but don’t want to make a “big deal” about it.

The problem was that people had been making “mean, anonymous comments” about him on “blogs out there.” This had so dispirited my professor that he had taken to “eating foods high in cholesterol, even those puffy Cheetos”—an outcome that no humane person would wish on anyone. My professor suggested that we, the loyal students, sally out into the blogosphere and post spirited comments in his defense. It sounded like fun.

We asked him where the comments were posted, but he was evasive, implying that he, a forty-something professor, was helpless in these matters of the internet, while we connected young twenty-somethings would stumble upon the ugly comments right away.

I assumed, of course, that the “anonymous” trash-talker was either present or would hear about the in-class mention later, and so my prof couldn’t mention him directly. Hey, fair enough.

After class I conducted a few quick blog searches, looking for potentially libelous material. Nothing much appeared, with the exception of the excerpt below, which, while potentially disastrous for a Southern Baptist professor, turned out to be a red herring.

...Their wine buyer, Mark Devine was formally wine adviser to The Four Seasons Hotelin Dublin. Mr. Devine is compiling an eclectic collection of American and NewWorld wines, including small, boutique wineries...

This was disappointing. There’s nothing like looking forward to a good firefight and then being let down. So if anyone comes across any blogs trashing “Dr. DeVine” or “Mark DeVine” be sure and let me know.

I rarely get the opportunity to talk trash with the full endorsement of a salaried Theology professor, and a good one at that. It would be a shame to let it go to waste.

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Will Robison said...

If you want, I could say something mean about him so that you'd have a place to practice your defense. Its defense that wins championships you know. Oh then again, KU... maybe you don't know that ;)

Anonymous said...

Google comes up with quite a bit, though nothing as scandalous as a "wine buyer."

Mark DeVine midwestern - Google Search

Ariel said...

While the legitimacy of your smack is questionable, Will, I do admire the way you cleverly transitioned from DeVine to the Jayhawks. That alone is impressive. But wait, aren't you a Gonzaga fan? Shouldn't you be saying something about the desirability of breaking down in tears at midcourt?

Google does have a lot on Dr. DeVine, but most of it is fueled by his recent book, Bonhoeffer Speaks Today, which is quite good (although it lacks the satirical verve of his lectures). That and seminary news releases.

Trashtalk this hard to find is pretty much self-defeating.

Andrew Simone said...

There was a fellow at my school that was asked to leave because of the slander he was posting online. It got a whole bunch of Presbyterian on the West Coat in a tizzy (an easy task, frankly).

These sorts of things can legitimately be a big deal.

Will Robison said...

I work for USF, so being a Gonzaga fan would be a bad choice. Actually, I'm kind of partial to Duke - but mostly because I like their coach who is a really nice guy and knows basketball like you and I know breathing. That being said, there are times when you are just minding your own business and a big fat breaking ball comes right over the plate. You just can't help taking a swing at it and hitting it out of the ballpark. (There. Now I've changed sports entirely!)

Seriously though, I have nothing against KU, but even I have noticed there lack of post season ability lately.

Good luck on finding your trashtalker. Remember, to be a terminator, you must be relentless. You can not be negotiated with. You can't be talked to. You will never stop until you are dead. Dead. DEAD! Okay, maybe a little over the top there.

Ariel said...

Will, I appreciate your honesty in admitting that you tend to like Duke...J.J. Reddick being the other guy who shed tears on national television after the tourney loss. You have to love these sensitive artis-, uh, hoopster types.

You're in the clear on KU's post-season smash-ups though. This season was the exception to the rule, in that there were some legit reasons for the team to fall apart in the spotlight. Not that those reasons hold much appeal for die-hard fans...

You and Andrew are bringing one point home: frivolous trashtalk needs to be found and punished, wherever in the blogosphere it may lurk!

Mark DeVine said...

What have I unleashed? My head is spinning in this blogging world. Forget about looking for detractors and just go to my sote and blog.


Culture. Photos. Life's nagging questions. - BitterSweetLife