Well, I’m back.
Yesterday I arrived home from the Desiring God conference, and a half-dozen lovely ‘theological’ topics are percolating upstairs. The resulting brew will be steaming, dark, and very strong; this conference was coffee for the soul, but without the merely ephemeral good effects. I’m juiced, but not ready to dispense it just yet.
I did want to note something, though, maybe purely for my own benefit? Hard to say with this kind of story. But here it is, in abbreviated form.
I arrived at the first session with a kind of lingering fatigue that I’ve been fighting doggedly the last several months—the kind of tiredness that makes you feel worn out when you climb out of bed. Sometimes I felt like I had to drink coffee like water just to get my head clear. I told Lindsay, it was kind of like trying to drive with a fogged-over windshield. At any rate, when I sat down in the auditorium in Minneapolis the first evening, began listening to a passionate, riveting speaker, and still felt myself nodding off, things came to a head. I thought, This can’t go on.
That night, I prayed and prayed about it. The next morning I woke up, and rediscovered, as best I can put it, mental acuity. No epic struggle to generate focus and alertness. No profound physical inertia to overcome. My mind was just there, working smoothly.
As I write this, I have the feeling that I’m probably failing to convey the strange wonder of this realization. After months of prodding myself wearily to think, think, think—grinding out research papers and force-feeding textbooks to myself—the reality of quiet physical efficiency was almost startling.
How do things like this happen?
How does chronic weariness get wiped away like fog; how do mental gears get oiled and recalibrated? I think, if I’m wise, I won’t look for much more than a one word explanation.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
God Mends Minds
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5 comments:
Yessir, I had a feeling you’d come back with the thunder. John Piper now holds two distinct claims in my records:
Top Ten Book Title: Don’t Waste Your Life
Top Ten Conference Title: How Must a Pastor Die? (wish I could’ve gone)
I experienced a similar phenomenon in my mental acuity and alacrity for work this week. Your attempt to describe it was a success, I’d say, until that part about re-sharpening gears.
But, in seriousness, it is wondrous to me to hear someone else that can relate. I’ll tell you, man, there were times last week when I felt downright stupid. But this week my brain was firing on all cylinders, thanks to the tune-up I got. We got a good Mechanic. I look forward to your writing in the near future.
Funny how He answers those prayers, eh? It's powerful when you get the answer like that.
I remember attending a conference awhile back - after the first day, I was a bit cynical; but after prayer that evening, my heart was softened and I had that clarity needed for the second day.
Glad you're back.
Was there much discussion on Piper recent views of baptism? Just curious, I hear his view has shifted recently.
Also, I have had that feeling for a long time and you know what, praying about it never even entered my mind.
Ariel,
Good to hear the fog was lifted (or wiped away). Looking forward to reading your thought on the conference.
Thanks for the welcome home, men.
Oneway, there's some additional must-read material in the Piper canon. The Godward Life books are excellent; Desiring God is also can't-miss. Thank God that you're experiencing restored acuity as well... Speaking of acuity, I couldn't help myself; I changed "resharpened" to "recalibrated."
Really good teaching has a reviving effect, eh Andy. Kind of like stumbling across an oasis and stoppping for a few hours before continuing the wilderness trek. After you splash around awhile, even cynicism gets washed off.
OC, baptism didn't really come up. As to praying for mental renewal, I guess I don't have to say that I recommend it.
Thanks for the kind wishes, Rob. If all goes well, content from the conference will begin to gradually filter into subsequent posts.
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