My Issues with Fabricated Excellence
One thing that gets me down about writing, public speaking, trash talk - communication of all kinds, actually, is that to be good you have to be so artificial. That is, you have to try, really hard, and this means altering your output, jumping through semantic hoops, being deliberate, gauging audience response. All these things are less than purely spontaneous.
Maybe I write a decent article, and succeed in saying something eye-opening; but to come even close to what I wanted to say, I had to type a rough draft (how rough? think splinters), edit it, polish it - and then the piece is structurally sound. About that time I start wondering if I started with the right raw materials. This is irritating. But what really annoys me is my inability to effortlessly do things well.
After years of practice, a lot of reading, and way too much coffee, I've arrived at a place where I can occasionally write something arguably worth reading. So what? I'm still nowhere near my goal of creating brilliant works of art simply by putting pen to paper. Let's get this straight: I want to be able to write like Lewis by reflex. I want to be Tolkienesque whenever I tell a story. I want to be as devastating as...well, as a really great trash talker, just by opening my mouth in the general proximity of a hoops court.
It should all just flow. Natural, spontaneous genius: mind-bending truth, spectacular stories and pointed jabs, just rolling out. I have this strange idea that beautiful creation should be as impromptu, as effortless, as breathing. What would that be like, to simply speak and act from the core of your being, and be completely satisfied by the perfection that materializes.
Only one person can know, really. Jesus Christ is capable of careless brilliance. The rest of us can only dream about the day when we will be, at least, good from the inside out. I think I could be happy with that.
In the meantime, I'm confronted by a God whose every word is perfect, whose every act is precisely what he aims for (no more, no less). He may not enhance my delusions of grandeur, but he does inspire my worship.
Friday, February 24, 2006
Careless Brilliance
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15 comments:
Makes me wonder how many edits Lewis, Tolkien, Zacharias, and others have gone through before reaching their own finished products? Personally, as a novice who's extremely wet behind the ears, I'm pretty sure I'll always feel that my written work is inferior to the Greats. But then again, maybe these writers felt the same way when comparing themselves to the Greats before them? Maybe the struggle is a sign of 'greatness'... at least as much as is possible this side of heaven? :)
- D
It is quite interesting at how this plays out in my own life. I have just begun my own blog, and the three posts I have made thus far have been written in Word before every publishing them on the web. I guess I just wanted to make sure that what I was saying made sense, and that it flowed. Also, I definitely wanted to be articulate, and brilliant, yet still come across simply.
It's all just a big facade :)
I'm at the ending of rewriting my novel. I wrote a first draft synopsis. I edited the synopsis and wrote a second draft synopsis. Then I sat down and wrote the first draft of the novel. Now I'm done with editing the first draft and am finishing up a second draft of the novel. I'm already fairly certain there will be other revisions. I started with the first draft of the synopsis in 2002. If there is a short cut, a means to put down the brilliance in your head on to paper on the very first try, then by all means bottle it and sell it. I'll be the first one on the block to buy some and add it to my morning cuppa.
I often wonder if being impromptu is indeed being impromptu. Isn't everything planned to an extent? Even 'reality' T.V. programs are scripted. I don't think you should question your ability to be spontaneous, but rather your perfectionistic need to be like your idols. You have your own talent; it's nobody else's. It is already brilliant. You don't have to compare it with anyone's. It is meritorious, fresh, sparkling, serene, it's you. To keep it constant, every sense of your being has to be alert at all times and that can be a lot of pressure on you. It will happen. You will know when you are in the zone. You will feel alive. You won't question whether you are there. You will just be. You're already there. Let your spirit be your guide to the wonder of your journey. Let God teach you. In the words of Hamlet, "Speak the speech I pray you, as I pronounce it to you trippingly on the tongue."
I wrote this post kind of tongue in cheek, in order to harp on the 'careless brilliance' of God's creation.
At least that was the idea when I started. My issues with laborious excellence became a little more pronounced as I typed.
I guess the 'problem' that I'm complaining about isn't so much that quality requires effort, but that, in a sense, quality, goodness, excellence in creation is something we are forced to reach so indirectly. In the final analysis, it's NOT natural to us, and I wish that it was.
One of the amazing things about heaven will be the newfound ability, as completed creatures, to do things well without having to fight ourselves the whole way.
::
Nice how this post is bringing the writers out. :) Since I'm pushing a new record for "longest comment on my own post," I guess I'll plunge ahead...
Almschrift, the picture of Lewis doing multiple edits is pretty satisfying! And I agree with you that I'd much rather be 'struggling' with my writing than typing up smug, self-satisfied pieces.
Microsoft is a great friend to Bloggers, Dustin, especially if you're using the Word plug-in for Blogger. Highly recommended. True, 'effortless' brilliance is a facade (at least for us, for now) but there's some satisfaction in knowing that the brilliance is not necessarily facade-ish...
If there is a short cut, a means to put down the brilliance in your head on to paper on the very first try, then by all means bottle it and sell it.
Not happening, Will. But you've successfully begun the buzz campaign for your new novel.
...you have to be so artificial.
You think so? To take something as organic, personal and quirky as our own inner thoughts, to translate them into a format that can be read by a third party who has no insight into how you see the world and how your brain and spirit process things, you think that is artificial? I think its a miracle. What are thoughts? Even the best neurologists don't know what they are. They don't even know what "consciousness" is, yet we experience it in every living moment.
On the other hand, what is wrong with artificial? Its got the word "art" in it-- something made by a person (as opposed to something springing from nature, or ex nihilo). What other possible way is there to capture the beautiful, ephemeral firings of our billions of neurons and then invite another brain to partake in the same dance? We have the herculean task of taking something that is multi-dimensional, that "exists" at a molecular/spriritual level in our consciousness and through our own creativity we break it into little words and letters and put it in a computer that spreads it over the face of the globe. We can share our thoughts. What a miracle that we aren't confined by the dark, bony box that confines our grey matter. What a priviledge and a joy. Our minds can have a communion that is not bounded by time or geography. And all because of artifice.
Thomas Mann: "A writer is someone for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people."
Camille is quite right: all art is artifice--it's an illusion of something. In the case of good writing, more often than not, the illusion is its effortlessness.
john b. - Great Thomas Mann quote... I'm memorizing that one.
Boy did I feel that this week.
Well said.
How true, how true. I love that Mann quote, as well!
Did you know, Ariel, that there are entire books of the multitudes of drafts Tolkien cranked out before he was finally happy with the Lord of the Rings?
They're part of the Histories of Middle Earth....and they are fascinating to read through...if one has the patience and interest! Lucky for me, i did when i dragged myself throught the first one.
From simple name changes (i.e. Bingo to Frodo) to drastic evolutions in character (...a wandering, tragic figure of a hobbit who wore wooden shoes that ended up as Aragorn), it was a truly rewarding experience. Both as a Tolkien nut, and just as a writer.
Someday, i hope to muster up the courage to read the other 3!
Have you ever read "Of Other Worlds" by Lewis? It's a collection of his essays on storytelling, among other things. It is one of my most cherished books of his...and just in general. I have an old beat up hardcover copy i found in my dad's bookshelf...it is so inspiring to me. i think you'd like it.
colleen
Excellence will never be something that is easy to achieve; and that reality is a corollary reason of why it is worth pursuing. God's character is inherently exellent, he is the very definition of quality, and the pursuit of Goodness, Exellence (arete), and Quality (Pirsig) is something that men and women have undertaken since the beginning.
Divinity is something all too unnatural to us, though our souls have the seeds planted in them. If excellence is too natural and organic, elements of decomposition, which has its own peculiar beauty (though it is a beauty that reminds us of who we are and what we don't have), will undoubtedly be found therein.
So, never stop pursuing the good, for in finding quality, goodness, and excellence, you will, if you are honest, find God as well.
I'm still soaking up the eloquence of your comments. Wow. I think a new record for reader-response-brilliance may have just been set.
Some of the stuff said deserves to be responded to specifically. In the meantime, I feel a slight need to exonerate myself... :)
Let it be known that I don't really think that effort, focused creativity leading to the extraction of inner 'thoughts' is negatively 'artificial.' (Read Camille's inspired comment above.) I used the word to exaggerate my supposed issue with 'fabricated' excellence. But I'm definitely down with such artifice.
Had to get that off my chest. A few more thoughts are forthcoming.
All right, now for a few more replies.
You will know when you are in the zone. You will feel alive. You won't question whether you are there. You will just be.
If only it were that simple, Alexys. Ironically, some of my best stuff is written with considerable anguish, sweating, complaining, gritting of the teeth, etc. This is one difference between the Christian perspective and most others: We don't expect good things to come easily.
What a miracle that we aren't confined by the dark, bony box that confines our grey matter. What a priviledge and a joy. Our minds can have a communion that is not bounded by time or geography. And all because of artifice.
There's nothing to really add to Camille's comment... Beautiful.
I guess I had better echo everyone else and note that the Mann quote from John B. is now a part of my esteemed quote collection. I mean, obviously, right? After writing the above post, I have no choice but to love that quote? ;)
I don't have Of Other Worlds, Colleen, but I do own On Stories and The World's Last Night, which I'm told contain the material. Believe it or not, I haven't finished reading 'em yet. Now I have to.
If excellence is too natural and organic, elements of decomposition, which has its own peculiar beauty (though it is a beauty that reminds us of who we are and what we don't have)...
Tim's comment pretty much highlights the heart of 'bittersweetness' as I see it. We are dying to experience perfect beauty and joy, we are haunted by it - which means we are haunted by God. Even when we write.
Whoa.
Best. Comments. Section. Ever.
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