Finals Fatale ~ BitterSweetLife

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Finals Fatale

The battle is over, but my heart carries the scars.

The at-risk class’s final came and went fairly uneventfully, but what do you expect after a dozen hours of studying? I would have been disappointed if I didn’t know every iota of obscure minutia backwards and forward. Thankfully, this kind of exertion is only warranted once a year.

My second exam, however, came close to causing cardiac arrest. I flew through the front half, IDed my terms, unpackaged my syntax, and coasted through the first Hebrew translation exercise—a couple verses from 1 Samuel. Happily, I perused the final section, and it was in that moment that my unsuspecting heart almost “got me.”

“Translate Psalm 25,” said the assignment, “verses 1 through 10.” ONE THROUGH TEN? We hadn’t ripped off a chunk that big all semester, take-home assignments included. But fine, that’s cool. Whatever I need to do.

I chose the only real alternative in the situation, and “got mad at it” like I used to in PE tests, knocking out pushups. I manhandled my lexicon, whacked my Hebrew text around like a piñata, and mumbled under my breath. There was no way I would pull it off error-free, but sure as heck I wouldn’t come in last.

After about 40 minutes of accelerating wrath and jumbled verb clauses, my professor noticed all his students were thumbing their tests in disgust, breathing hard and glaring. Apparently, something clicked. He looked the test over, then cleared his throat:

“I’m afraid I made a typo on the exam. I converted the test from my Hebrew II class, and forgot to change one detail. The last section should read ‘verses one and two,’ not ‘one through ten.’ I’m awfully sorry.”

Sighs of relief. Disbelieving stares. Deranged laughter.

After roughly translating six of the verses at breakneck speed, smoothing out the first two was completely doable. Fighting down post-traumatic stress disorder, I did it. I got up. I handed in my exam. I left the classroom and entered the sunlight.


Now, in the insulated safety of home, my nerves are gradually calming down. I sip a calming post-finals beverage and gingerly relive the recent past, slowly finding closure. All is well, all is well, I whisper. Soon, I hope, I will be capable of returning to the normal world.



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8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I hope that was an adult beverage you were enjoying. . .

Congratulations on getting through. :)

Oneway the Herald said...

Man, Ariel, I don't think I can read your posts about classes anymore. This one was too hauntingly real...I revisited pain I thought I had safely locked away.

But, I'm glad you're back in the normal world.

*why, yarn?* said...

while some revisit, i have this weird sensation that I will be visiting the same haunting experience next month..

glad you got through. it's my turn..haha

Anonymous said...

Oy Vey!

Anonymous said...

"After about 40 minutes of accelerating wrath and jumbled verb clauses, my professor noticed all his students were thumbing their tests in disgust, breathing hard and glaring. Apparently, something clicked. He looked the test over, then cleared his throat:

“I’m afraid I made a typo on the exam. I converted the test from my Hebrew II class, and forgot to change one detail. The last section should read ‘verses one and two,’ not ‘one through ten.’ I’m awfully sorry.”

Sighs of relief. Disbelieving stares. Deranged laughter.

After roughly translating six of the verses at breakneck speed, smoothing out the first two was completely doable. Fighting down post-traumatic stress disorder, I did it. I got up. I handed in my exam. I left the classroom and entered the sunlight"-
thank god that your professor realised the error but mine did not.in short all the questions in the paper asked us to summarise the entire chapters which were 50 pages long.we had to write 4 answers in two and half hrs which was humanly impossible.

AJ said...

You've got to be kidding, aparna. So what happens now? Free A all around?

Four days after my own torture session, I'm wondering whether students shouldn't have some kind of legal recourse in situations like this...

Anonymous said...

well this happened for real.free A i wish!!!!!i hope that the protest by the students outside my professor's office should put some sense in his head like giving free A.

Anonymous said...

well this happened for real.free A i wish!!!!!i hope that the protest by the students outside my professor's office should put some sense in his head like giving free A.

 

Culture. Photos. Life's nagging questions. - BitterSweetLife