Reading blogs can be depressing.
Sometimes when blog-surfing I think, "Please tell me you are making this up to add pathos."
It's scary when the revelation of someone's "inner life" (a primary purpose of blogging, right?) causes you to wince and then say, "Hey! ...have you tried prozac?"
Now I’m not talking about those who are really suffering (i.e. a modern-day Job or Nietzsche). Most of us struggle with very painful issues and dehabilitating problems from time to time, and these things shouldn't be swept under the carpet. Far from it. (And may I suggest, prozac is probably not the solution.) There's no point in selling suffering short.
But at the same time, the self-conflicted nature of some people is truly dizzying. Life's hard enough, why prod yourself into introverted martyrdom? Does self-absorption pay dividends? Is there a hidden pay-off for mental masochism? What am I missing?
Whatever the attraction, many have succumbed. To honor (eh, acknowledge) those poor souls, and to ensure that I never succumb to this mysterious nemesis of cheerful bloggers, I wrote this:
(Read it and weep.)
Song of an Anguished Artist
Alas, alack, I’m so conflicted,
should I cut my ear off
or just nick it?
Please pity me
I am so young,
so sensitive
and yet so numb.
Please weep for all
my genius wasted,
I would like success
If I could taste it.
Unfortunately I’m preoccupied
with torturing my anxious mind.
Too self-involved to step outside,
I think I’ll just sit here and cry.
Sunday, September 12, 2004
Song of an Anguished Artist
Filed in: Controversy Culture Edges Updates Poetry
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5 comments:
It´s so simple. Those people really want to atract opinions on them. It´s (like we say in my country) being the bride at the wedding and the dead at the funeral. If I say that I´m thinking to commit suicide on a post, surely many people will start to comment me to keep me off from that idea, so I reached my purpose, being a point of atraction/interest. People won´t comment a post where I say that I have a poor day but tomorrow will be better.
It´s just being a little famous in our near friend/blogger circles. Just being a little as David Beckham (xP, uegh!)
On the other hand, as time goes by, people could get tired from the depressing posts so they will read more happy writers until they get tired of them too...
And the wheel rounds, and rounds again...
You may have something there. Case in point: Van Gogh. I guess his motive in cutting his ear off WAS to prove his "love" for a young lady, so that agrees with your suggestion. Way to go. Suddenly I'm seeing all the "conflicted artists" I know in a clear, new light. ;)
Good post! I guess I need to brush up my Espanol so I can come visit your blog...
Spanish is so easy, when I travel outside here everybody understands me (and I usually don´t understand anybody x)
Nice point about Van Gogh, but I always have being tell that he cut off his ear to send via mail to Gauguin who left him after a fight in their study (that´s the reason because Paul established at Tahiti and started painting his Tahiti series) But it´s the same reason, chasing atention from somebody (that and a ear infection xD)
And sometimes it´s another way of thinking, some people looks for people who have more problems than them, so they feel confortable about thinking that. Or the other possible answer, to say "Oh, that really doesn´t matter, you must hear what happened to me yesterday...!!"
Being a supporting actor in the theater of life brings you many oportunities to evaluate people´s behaviour, and the most difficult, trying to discover their reasons.
Gauguin, huh? I need to get that story straight.
You're showing quite the knack for psychology here! True, pathos does have a way of attracting attention. A couple years ago, novelist Tim O'Brien wrote in a syndicated column that he was contemplating suicide..."not if, but how." As I understand it, he received numerous letters from readers, begging him to spare his own life. Today, he's still with us. Interesting.
By the way, nice line about "a supporting actor in the theater of life." I suppose in this particular theatre, it's best to avoid center stage... :)
Point well taken. I find myself reacting rather sensitively at times. Seems like a liability/blessing of an artistic disposition. But you have to draw the line somewhere. :)
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