Sorting Yourself Out
A couple days ago, a subliminal message left by ninjanun led me to the Keirsey Temperment Sorter. Upon arrival, I was easily persuaded to take a quick online test to determine my personality type, and the resulting ENFJ profile did make some sense. But as gratifying as it was to learn about my genius-potential, it seems the experience inadvertantly begs a deeper question. Why is self-knowledge so highly valued?
You may as well admit that if you haven’t yet, you are sorely tempted to hit the above link and discover “what” you are. (If not, you display an extraordinary degree of restraint and we all applaud you. Either that or you're jaded. ;)
But why are we so easily fixated with the question of personality? And why does the question exist? Apparently we are a people who do not know ourselves. When we sincerely try to “self-monitor,” we often flounder. Occasional self-revelations are never the final word. And much of the time we prefer to disguise what exploration could reveal.
It’s strange that self-knowledge is so elusive. I know people in their fifties who are still discovering new things about themselves, and I suspect this is by no means unusual. The secret of personality seems to be one we can never quite unravel, a veil we can never fully pull aside.
Of course, forward strides are made. We meet someone who understands us, shows us a deeper side of ourselves. We go through a defining experience, and emerge enlightened. We take a helpful test, and gain some insight. Yet always there are other facets undiscovered, reactions we didn’t expect, inclinations we don’t understand.
Confusing it all is the issue of life purpose in relation to personality—How does who I am pertain to what I ought to be doing? And what if I’m not doing it? Does personality shape my calling, or does my profession take precedent?
We dance round in a ring and suppose,
But the Secret sits in the middle and knows.
The fiber of our souls is so thick it seems to defy penetration. Nonetheless, honest self-appraisal is something we humans long for. And we can’t help it. Why?
I suggest it's because personality is a gift, not a random molecular formula. And a mysterious gift at that, “woven” into us by the Creator, who "sees all our days when as yet there are none of them" (Psalm 139). We enter the world as crafted persons, our natures linked inextricably to our purpose in life. Such a gifts entail a depth of knowledge we simply don't possess. But we wish we did.
Revelation states that in The End, Christ will present his followers with “a white stone, and a new name written on the stone which no one knows but he who receives it.” This image is symbolical, and explicitly-assigned meanings are elusive, but it does conjure a picture in my mind.
I "see," or rather "hear" Jesus saying these words: “Well done, my good and faithful servant,” he says, and that affirmation is enough to justify a life. But then he goes on: “Now I will show you who you are, in relation to myself…” Like a stream of clear sunlight, the mystery of a lifetime is illuminated in an instant. To a strikingly defined man, eternity brims with promise.
I suspect there is something else here as well, something even more inscrutable—a glimpse of divine reality. The complexity of our souls, and the tuggings we feel to explore, are a snapshot into a higher mystery. Our personalities, intricate as they are, offer the merest glimpse of a more enthralling image: God's.
As James Stewart, the Scottish theologian, wrote:
There is nothing in history like the union of contrasts which confronts us in the gospels. The mystery of Jesus is the mystery of divine personality.
But this is food for another post. Nevertheless, those who begin the "divine" exploration down here will have all eternity to continue it. (I do not say “complete” it.) And that’s a good thing; we’ll need the time.
3 comments:
I always like to reinforce the fact that I'm completely jaded in life.
I am not sure the self is something that people can "know." It's something that's constantly evolving from our experiences. I guess my reason for not clicking is because I don't think that a test can tell me anything about my life that I didn't know myself. It's not like it can tell me that I'm anything that I haven't already recognized in myself. And what I am today, I hope not to be next week or next year. You are right - human seek honest appraisal. But to find that elsewhere? Outside ourselves? Impossible.
Yeah, I guess there could be other reasons for not clicking the link... ;)
I agree that a certain degree of self-knowledge is attainable. Some people know themselves startlingly well; perhaps you're one of them? What I would ask, though, is how can you be positively sure that "outside" revelation is impossible? How did you come to that conclusion? (If I may indulge my curiosity.:)
I know there are LOTS of things I didn't know about myself until I got married, and my husband pointed them out to me. And I know that there are some things we, as humans, conveniently "gloss over" in our own personalities that are less than savory. Sometimes it absolutely takes an outside perspective to show us certain aspects about ourselves. Little habits, foibles, ways of thinking, ways of doing things, are things we often take for granted, until we are confronted with others who have different little habits, foibles, ways of thinking, ways of doing things, that clash with our own. As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. And then of course, there is the perfect mirror of God's love and God's law which reveals to us how far we ALL fall short.
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