A couple weeks ago Lindsay and I had just begun driving to our latest substitute teaching assignments when the unthinkable happened. I started speeding.
In and of itself, this might fail to make the “unthinkable” category. However, there were aggravating circumstances. Such as, I wasn’t pushing the accelerator.
Spooky.
Or it would have been, if we weren’t rocketing down a side street, velocity steadily increasing. As I fought the raging vehicle for control, my efficient mental processes were instantly kicked to another level—a James Bond-Jason Bourne Level. (Ever noticed the not-so-subtle parallelism there?) What to do?
First, and most obvious, I slammed on the brake. But braking when the accelerator seems to be floored has little effect. The brake pads huffed in protest. What next? I took the car out of gear. Caution: taking a manual transmission car out of gear while the accelerator is (apparently) floored creates a noise something like a sonic boom. (Or, to be more specific, like the roaring hum of a cloud of giant wasps.)
Synapses firing rapidly, I realized this solution was temporary. My eyes came to rest on the emergency brake. That might have been a mistake of epic proportions, but fortunately, another solution suggested itself.
I turned the car off. We coasted to the side of the street. I took a deep breath.
All of this, of course, had taken place in about 3.7 seconds. Well ok, maybe 5.9. Lindsay had handled the emergency fairly well, which is to say that her screams had not been piercing enough to shatter any of our windows, which would have really compounded the problem.
As it was, we emerged unscathed. Of course you’re wondering what the moral of the story is. I saved it for last because, frankly, it’s not very impressive. But here goes: When driving, always keep an eye on those little square floor carpets. They can slide up silently, secretly, and then—WHAP—take over your accelerator without warning. Don’t ask me how, just understand that these things happen. They could happen to you. And if they do, you too may be required to exercise Bond-Bourne-like reflexes without a moment’s notice.
Be ready.
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
I Should Have Been A Spy
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11 comments:
Wow. What an adventure. I'm glad you two were left unscathed. I had an almost similar thing happen to me years ago involving flip-flops.
I also switched to thick and heavy rubber mats so that thing wont happen. Plus I made it a habit to look at it whenever I get on my car.
Anyway, I do pray nothing like that would ever happen to you again.
Dispite the unfortunate conditions of your post, it was written so greatly. You are a great writer! I admire great writing like that!
With that said, now I know not to let the clutch out of my car if that were to ever happen.
I hydroplaned about 4 years ago, but it was my first of any type of car incident. And I was not prepared...You reacted very quickly! Way to goo... maybe I need to watch more Bond movies! :-)
A similiar situation has happened to me several times in the past. Now I what to do (camly) in that type of a situation. Put the transmission into neutral. Then react accordingly.
Free Spirit, I'd like to hear your "flip flop" adventure, but I'm almost afraid to ask. ;) I'm already envisioning the times as a kid when I stuck something (like my shoe) into the spokes of my bicycle, causing painful chaos. But your story can't be that gruesome...so elaborate if you care to!
As to the best way to prepare for such experiences in the future, Bond movies are a good way to go, but I especially recommend the Bourne films on account of their lengthy car-chase scenes. Very instructive.
Ariel,
The next time this happens and you panic, be sure not to touch the red button located just below your stereo and accidentally launch a missle at somebody in on coming traffic. I would hate to be that guy.
Travis
Let's just say it involved my flip-flops getting each foot entangled with the gas and clutch pedals, on a steep, downward road. While I was careening over the speed limit, uncontrollably, and stopping in the nick of time, just a hair's breath away from the car in front of me. ;)
Thanks for the stories, guys! I had a feeling that someone might share a "bare feet and spokes story." Ouch, ouch, ouch. That reminds me of my "going off a 3-foot wooden ramp on my bike" story. And then there was the "trying to jump the creek on my bike story"...
The flip flop account also has great visual appeal. Talk about suspense! Put some Mission Impossible music behind that, and you have some great cinematic material. ;)
Travis, about that red button...actually I hadn't noticed it before, but now that you mention it...
Funny thing about the Bourne series. Shortly after posting this, I received a query about my possible involvement in the third film. Unfortunately, the role I had been hoping for was already filled by Matt Damon, and "third brown-haired CIA guy on the right" didn't have the same appeal.
By way of a disclaimer I should mention that the last Bond film I watched was made in the '80s...I'm not into the hypersexed recent renditions.
We have a '99 Honda Civic, but no mat-retention-device. I feel cheated.
>>I stepped on the brake pedal of my '65 Tempest and nothing--absolutely nothing--happened>>
Uh, so...then what happened?
Bravo! Roy, you're the one who should be auditioning for the next Bourne film! Maybe they could fit you in as "stunt double in scene 9" or something. ;)
I'll check my floor mats today!
Mine, as of today, have small pieces of shattered glass dotting them, as well as what appear to be scuff marks, apparently created made by someone's frantic stomping/kicking at the upper right hand corner.
My examination also revealed that the small square "auxiliary" mat had been recently shoved far beneath the seat, likely by the car's owner.
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