Thursday, December 14, 2006

Over. Done. Finis.

I have committed double murder. Again.

I'm allowing myself this garbage post to say that my finals are over. I encountered the last two of them back to back in a dimly lit classroom today, and now they lie on the cheaply carpeted floor, so cold, so...lifeless.

They slump there prostrate, riddled with correct answers. Who will remember them, now they are gone? Who will tenderly tell their stories, recalling in quiet tones their shattered dreams for a place of their own, for wives and children, for the future? Who will keep these finals from becoming just another statistic?

NO ONE!

May these exams Rot In Peace.

I've retreated from the scene of the execution battle to the safety of my own home, where I'm treating myself for symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Mostly this means lying on the couch and thinking about nothing, drinking liquids other than coffee. The faces of the victims flash before my eyes, but already the regret is fading. Soon I will feel nothing. And then...sleep. Sleep, and a real post.
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10 comments:

  1. Anonymous8:43 PM

    Congratulations, sir.

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  2. Anonymous9:46 PM

    I myself vanquished my foes, er finals...yesterday and today. I had three yesterday and battled through the last one this morning. I myself am thinking about a celebratory drink right now...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oneway the Herald9:58 PM

    I will toast to your success tomorrow night...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous12:29 AM

    ....and in just a few weeks come more classes, more tests, more papers, and more finals.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous8:15 AM

    Unfortunately, four papers stand between me and the winter break I so richly deserve. It's sad, really, because they don't stand a chance and will bend to my will throughout this weekend.

    Congrats, Ariel, to the end of the semester.

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  6. Anonymous10:28 AM

    you're hilarious!

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  7. AJ11:50 AM

    I continue to appreciate the defiant and polemical tendencies of the students who read this blog. Channel it appropriately, and this stuff can take you through grad school. Just remember, it's not a real win until the exam begins pleading for mercy.

    ....and in just a few weeks come more classes, more tests, more papers, and more finals.

    And thus...more academic bloodshed. Will the violence never end?

    you're hilarious!

    Likewise, I'm sure! ;)

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  8. Anonymous2:41 PM

    I've found that my school manages to make continue the war in their favor by changing editions of books that simply change the order of the chapters...

    another tactic is a recent removal of real isbn numbers from their shelves...

    My personal finals were drawn out over a long week...one per day...lets not get into the mood or anything...

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  9. Anonymous7:46 PM

    Finis? Isn't that French?

    And speaking of French, what's up with the visiting Frenchdude?

    ReplyDelete
  10. AJ8:10 PM

    Finis? Isn't that French? And speaking of French, what's up with the visiting Frenchdude?

    Can it be possible that I inadvertently used a French word on this blog? Of course not! Finis is Middle English, from the Latin.

    The French guy left when summer ended, a fact for which we are all grateful. And since this is a public forum, I will leave it at that. :)

    ReplyDelete

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